Coming from a family of Hunter-Gatherers, we humans thrive on available information and this improved our habitats and increased our hunting success. Without this information, we wouldn’t know when to seek shelter, or when to continue hunting. We crave information the same way we crave, food, shelter, belongingness, and many more.
Nothing much has changed since we figured out how to make sense of these external cues. Up to this day, we still look at the sky to see check whether we should bring our umbrellas or not. We still put our palms on other people's foreheads to check if they are sick or not. And at some point, all of this information got hardwired onto our brains that most of the time, we don’t double-check it anymore because we ‘just’ know that it’s the best course of action based on what we know, and what we have been taught.
Even if you are not ready for the day, it cannot always be night.
- Praise God by Kanye West
Growing up in this messy place we call Earth, we were told to stay away from things that deviate from what society calls “safe”. We were told to always play it safe because we don’t know what might happen as a result of our present-day actions.
You might be thinking, “why not take some calculated risks?”. Yes, you can., but how do we calculate something where one variable is not, and never will be, available? And how would we check if the outcome of that “calculated risk” is right or wrong?
Simon Sinek, author of Start with Why and The Infinite Game, shared in an interview with Tom Bilyeu that, the only way to know whether we did the right thing or not is to witness it first hand. And that’s the hardest part.
Navigating through uncertainty can be daunting and in most cases, paralyzing. Our brains perceive ambiguity as a threat which is why we collect as much information as we can to aid our decision-making process.
We rely on previous information to make an informed decision, and sometimes, we just don’t have any previous information we can rely on. Probably because we are experiencing something uniquely new to ourselves. Without this information, we become anxious about what the future might hold, and how our actions might affect it. And we worry because it hinders us from preparing for possible threats that might arise.
There are a few things in life that we can fully control, and there are a lot more things that we cannot. And how we react to it can either make or break our actions. Here are some of the tips I would like to share with you to help you face uncertainty:
Learn from other people’s mistakes
Chances are, you’ve encountered the terms “Book Smart” and “Street Smart”. Book smart people are people who are intelligent and are well educated academically. These types of people get straight A’s, learn and absorb information from books better.
Street smart people on the other hand are people who are more well versed in dealing with situational problems. These kinds of people tend to have a broader view of the world and progresses in life through trial and error. But most importantly, their smartness comes from real-life experiences which allowed them to build a broader sense of awareness.
Learning how to deal with life and the uncertainties that come along with it cannot be captured and printed in a series of books because it’s not black and white. And there’s a tiny gray area where there are several factors that will come into play when talking about uncertainties.
Maybe I’m just not yet aware that there’s a book out there about this already. But what I do know is that there are a lot of people who have already experienced that same thing that you are experiencing now, or have gone through the same setbacks that you are having now.
In the game of life, we learn about the rules as we play them. We learn by doing, and then we exploit what we know until we learn something new. But we can’t just spend our time every day trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” Go out, and learn from the mistakes of others (a.k.a Social Learning). Buy books, read about the people you want to learn from, listen to podcasts and their interviews. There are several ways how you can learn from other people’s mistakes. And this will save you more time and resources than trying to learn them on your own.
“But what if there’s no one I can learn from?”
Talk to a friend
Have you ever shared what you’re going through with a friend? And all of a sudden they blurted out the most amazing advice that will help you address the situation you are in.
There are two things that happen whenever you share your story with a friend or a relative. The first one is you are acknowledging the situation. The moment you acknowledge it is when it no longer has power over you. This allows you to be more level-headed and focused as you navigate through it. The second one is you allow someone, who is detached from the situation, a clear front-seat view of what’s happening.
Sharing the situation with someone who is detached from it allows you to hear some insights that are all based on facts and available information. Their view of the problem is clear because there are no emotions that cloud their vision, which is other people are really great at giving advice.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t feel emotions. What I’m trying to say is that there are situations where we are more emotionally affected by the uncertainties at hand that we become crippled in addressing them. So talking to a friend gives us an extra pair of objective eyes that can help us move forward.
“I’ve tried everything that was mentioned above, but I still feel unsure about the situation…”
Believe that this is the best course of action
In 1986, James Carse wrote a book called “Finite and Infinite Games”. Finite games are defined as known players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon objective. An infinite game is defined as known and unknown players, the rules are changeable, and the objective is not to win — the objective is to keep playing, keep perpetuating the game.
Life is an infinite game. And in an infinite game, there are things that we can control, and there are things that we cannot. Another thing is that we cannot control the outcome. But as Peter Drucker said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it”.
Similarly, you can definitely predict something that could happen based on a certain set of actions that are being done in the present day. Brushing your teeth for 2 mins doesn’t do anything. But brushing your teeth every day, twice a day for 2 minutes ensures that your teeth won’t have any cavities and fall out.
In most cases, we stop doing what we do because we don’t see any results immediately. Right? Let’s say you work out today, and after working out you look at the mirror and you will see — nothing. Tomorrow you go out again, work out and look in the mirror and you will see — nothing. Clearly, there’s no result, right? It must not be effective. But if you fundamentally believe that this is the best course of action, I’m not sure when, but you’ll eventually get into shape.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to fundamentally believe that what you are doing is the best course of action. And if all else fails, and at some point, you realized that you’ve taken the wrong path then you can go back and go the other way. But this time, you’re not starting from scratch.
Dealing with life’s uncertainties can be a big pain in the butt to deal with. But just like any other skill, it can be learned and we can teach ourselves to handle these things in life like any other setbacks we’ve had.
This is hard, so is everything else. We just have to choose the hard battles we want to face, and fundamentally believe that this is the best course of action, whatever it is that we are doing now. And if at some point you realized that this is not the best path to move forward to, we already have the slightest amount of information that can help us make our way through this seemingly crazy life.
How do you deal with uncertainty? Let me know!
